During the hardships of my junior year of high school, many of my senior friends and teachers put the idea in my head that things would get easier upon entering twelfth grade. When at last that time had come, I soon realized that they were very wrong. Sure at first it was mostly the college ordeal. Where are you going? Have you applied yet? What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? Strenuous stuff, but eventually we all get past it. I thought that perhaps it was at that point that my senior year would finally loosen up. It didn't. I now have more work and stress than I ever have before in high school and the ironic part is that I am taking less classes. Sure, two of them are A.P., but that's not a lot compared to the crazies who are in five A.P. classes this year. I'm falling behind in every class and becoming more and more hopeless as I do so. Every time I miss an assignment, I just feel like more of a failure and less motivated to keep trying. I know I should just try harder to make things better, but coupled with relationship problems as well as problems at home, it's tough. I guess the reason I'm spilling it on Deviant is because I feel that I have almost no one to talk to. Just getting it out helps, even if no one really reads my journal entries. Overall, I have become depressed and every time I start to feel better, it just winds up coming back. Mostly, I tend to be a closed book. My friends all think there's nothing wrong.

On another, less unfortunate but still a little upsetting note... FINAL FANTASY VII CRISIS CORE CAME OUT!!! Buuuut! I don't have a PSP or money to buy one or money to buy the game. I want to play it more than I want to live. I kid, I kid. But seriously, I really want to play it. It's killing me.

There is a light at the end of this journal! I am working on a few pieces in my art class and I have even come up with a new idea for a story/novel eventually. I'll fill you in on that later. A piece I'm doing mostly at home I am so far very proud of. I have titled it "Candy - My Anti Drug." I promise to post it once it's done. Oh, and thanks to those of you who liked my latest poem.

As some of you might have noticed (I speak as though people read this), there are several new additions to my gallery. As I mentioned in my previous journal entry, most of my artwork was in school. Well, I brought my big blue folder home and photographed most of the work that was in it for your viewing pleasure. There are a few more along the way. Maybe now I will get people to recognize me. Most of my work is literature, and generally people hate to read. Speaking of which, there is a poem on the way. Look out for it.

JOE AND ELISE FOREVER.
Sorry...

Tata!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! And what a happy one it was. I gave out Surf's Up Valentine's to my peeps at school today because apparently they don't make Happy Feet ones. :grr: I wish I had a Valentine's day related picture or story to post, but my school work has kept me from such leisures. I actually have more art work than I post on Deviant. Most of it is in school and when it does come home, I usually just don't get around to photographing and the posting it. I'll work on that.

I have the best boyfriend ever! He's such a sweetheart. It POURED yesterday. So we left campus for our lunch period like always and there was this huge, HUGE puddle and I didn't want to walk through it 'cause I was already soaked and my socks were ruined and Joe CARRIED ME. Yes, he carried me through the puddle and sacrificed his sneakers for me. I think I will draw that now and post it later. He got me a gorgeous sapphire bracelet for the holiday today. Oh, I am so undeserving! Gotta post a picture of that, too...

I love you, Joe! Can't wait to cook for us on Saturday. Happy Valentine's day all!

My family had all gone away and left me alone in the house for a cluster of hours this afternoon. I watched the television for awhile, my A.P. Psychology textbook weighing a tedious imprint into the legs of my jeans, and a commercial for the network came up. It was an advertisement for their showing of the film, The Day After Tomorrow, an awful movie about weather gone awry. It is Monday and the showing of said film will be on Wednesday: the day after tomorrow.

I had myself a good, yet pathetically lonesome, giggle-fit.

Today marks the second day of my last year at high school. It seems like it all went by so fast, but it was definitely the most fun I've had at a school. By far. College is going to be tough to figure out. My dream of going to NYU is pretty much done for, but I'm sure I'll find another place for continuing my education.

Presently, I have writer's block. Not that that's different from any of the other times I have sat down with a pen in hand and a sheet of college-ruled paper in front of me. Ha, college again. I can never think of things to write and when I do, I'm picky about words. Memorizing the thesaurus is next on my to-do list.

If any of you follow , then you'll know from his most recent journal entry (Sept. 4th) that we are back together for a third time. Hopefully three's the charm. He is a very, very sweet boy and a much better artist than I am. Aren't we so cute together? I am immensely happy. Hey, we even have art class together. A.P. art means lots of upcoming work to post!!

Did I mention that I was chosen as Art Club president? What an exciting year this will be.